Survivor Voices: Surviving Father’s Day

May 11, 2020 | Survivor Voices

When you think about fathers day, some see the celebration, but for people like me, this holiday is usually one of the hardest. A year and a half ago, I lost my father to a senseless act of violence, and my world hasn’t been the same since. They say the first year of loss is difficult and that the second year is even more challenging, and it is true. But I also think about the father’s days that I was able to spend with him, and those are the memories I will always hold on to; those are the memories that keep me whole.

I remember my dad as a strong, loving man who played both roles in my life. It takes an extraordinary man to do that, and that’s just who he was, extraordinary. My childhood hero and years later, my best friend.

Feeling a variety of emotions is part of the process

He was my protector and my teacher. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me about grief; because grief can’t be taught. Grief can make you feel ugly, weak, and dislike certain holidays, and that’s where I struggle. However, I am human, and it’s ok to feel those emotions. There will be holidays, like father’s day, where it may seem like there is no hope. There will be times where there will be an overwhelming feeling of sadness, but sometimes we have to allow ourselves to feel that, there is no getting over it and some days we can’t get through it and it’s ok.

This year I don’t want to celebrate Father’s day; it hurts. But regardless of how it makes me feel, I will reminisce about all the beautiful moments my father and I shared. I am going to allow myself to feel whatever it is I want to feel, there will be some tears shed, but there will also be a few smiles because I was lucky enough to call him my dad.

My Advice

We are all different people and can celebrate father’s day anyway we want. My advice to the people who are grieving their father this Father’s Day is to be kind to your self, and do what you feel is necessary to get through this day. Most importantly take a moment to breathe and remember its okay not be okay. You are not alone.


About The Case

On Tuesday, May 21st, Daren Encinas-Pablo was found guilty on seven counts, including Aggravated Assault, Armed Robbery and 1st Degree Murder of Nicholas Encalade. Sentencing is set for July 16th, 2019.

 This article was written by survivor, Nicole Encalade and edited by Paula Lopez, freelance digital marketing specialist. She can be contacted at


Your charitable donation helps families meet the crisis and long term needs of murder victims through support, advocacy, and assistance. Help make an impact in a survivors life by making a donation today.

Translate »